Assassins

And heard the demons screamin' as his body bled

Now I'm drunk on the freeway, just the other day

I saw a fine hitchhiker and I wanted to play

Pulled up to the curb so I can offer a ride

She said, "Thanks", I said, "No thang", and she got inside

Peepin' as I'm creepin', I'm packin' an erection

I'm steerin' with my dick, I'm like, "Look, which direction?"

Made it to her Ave, she got out and said, "See ya"

Yo, babe, like, whyn't you chill and help me kill this two-liter? (Baby)

Went into my trailer, I filled up a glass

Before she took a sip, I had my dick in her ass

I banged it and banged it, the shit was absurd

Like she was Sporty Spice, and I was some fuckin' nerd

Then she rolled over and gave me a kiss

And said, "So, when am I gettin' paid?" What, bitch?

First, I tried to choke her, she went to the door

And said, "Welcome to the disease there's no cure for"

Bitch, I love you, but now you gotta die

I chased her through the door, but she slammed it in my eye

She passed by my boy, and I knew he was strapped

Billy pulled out his gun and shot the bitch in her back

Still wantin' booty, I went for the hatchet

And screamed at the moon like a sick psychopathic

Choppin' and choppin', they said, "J, what the fuck?

On the news, they found her head stuffed up her butt," what?

I'm an assassin, a motherfuckin' assassin

(An assassin), wicked clown, wicked clown

Wicked clown, wicked clown (a motherfuckin' assassin)

Wicked clown, wicked clown

Wicked clown, wicked clown (yeah, an assassin)

Wicked clown, wicked clown

Wicked clown, wicked clown (a motherfuckin' assassin)

Wicked clown, wicked clown (an assassin)

Wicked clown, wicked clown (assassin)

Frontier (hello)

Hello? (Yes, hello), Yes?

Hi, I'd like to speak to Mike Wood

Who's calling? (This is Sol)

I'm sorry, who? (Sol)

Did you say Shawn? (Sarah)

Hello? (Yes)

Yes, this is Sarah (oh, Sarah?)

Mike Wood, please (okay, hold on one moment)

Hello? (Yes, I have a complaint, a formal complaint)

Go ahead (they're just evil)

Who's evil? (The last booking you had)

(They jumped from the stage, and they tried to finger me in the audience)

Who is this? (This is Sol)

You're referring to who? (To myself, and my rear)

What do you mean, am I fer-referring to?

What band? (The-, the Insane Clown Posse)

Wh-, I don't understand what you're talking about (oh, God)

Do you book them or no?

Yes, I am the booking agent for the Insane Clown Posse

Th-That's who you are, and I just so happen to be a poor fool

That was standing in the front row when one of them jumped on me

Knocked me down and obliviously stuck his fingers in my ass

I don't need this, why do you let this go on?

Why are you calling me about this?

Well, you're booking them (hello?)

Get off the phone, you stupid ass

Who's hello-ing me? Mike Wood, please (this is Mike Wood)

Please, stop booking 'em, Mike, please

They're driving me nuts