Hustler Hall Of Fame

The road to the top, through crossguards and hard knocks

Copper penny times and endless city blocks

Thieves straight as they never been crooked rent-a-cops

Shooting craps in the back of vacant city lots

Free-range circus acts and worthless facts

Dancing in my solar soggy bowl of dick and smack

Fist-fucking faggots at the White on gym mats

Rats run the wire while I'm looking for a match

I go back and forth just like a cameo song

Honeys wanna love me but the line is too long

I make 'em take a number

Wake 'em from their slumber

What you know about Mickey?

(He's a bad motherfucker)

Truckers get my digits off the stalls of rest stops

I'm sick on the microphone like smallpox

Wild-eyed babies go crazy when I rock

Blind old ladies into diabetic shock

It's all the same when they call my name

Mickey Avalon, hustler hall of fame

There ain't no ball and chain, to hold me down

Got a golden smile and a platinum frown

It's all the same when they call my name

Mickey Avalon, hustler hall of fame

There ain't no ball and chain, to hold me down

Got a golden smile and a platinum frown

I flow like an acrobat, go tell your manager

That Mickey Avalon ain't no motherfuckin' amateur

I fly flicks with my dick at your camera

I rip the stick out my girl's Porsche Carrera

I brought your whole formula, just warmin' up

Storm the frontline and then I find a spot for lunch

Toxic-proof punch when the loot comes

Rocket boosters with my boots on

Underneath the tundra reach out for the Thundercats

Holds no better than this brother act

I ripped the rubber mats out your lover's pad

And kicked your mother's ass right in front of your dad

Last night, a brass pipe and a flashlight

Smashed my crown and left me down with a black eye

The bad guy, walking over landmines, who can't die but still cried

And it's all the same when they call my name

Mickey Avalon, hustler hall of fame

There ain't no ball and chain, to hold me down

Got a golden smile and a platinum frown

It's all the same when they call my name

Mickey Avalon, hustler hall of fame

There ain't no ball and chain, to hold me down

Got a golden smile and a platinum frown

Leave your gods and your politics back at home

'Cause I just wanna drink and be left alone

I gotta girl who likes to talk my ear off, see

So when I'm at the bar stay away from me

Don't ask for a smoke or to make some change

I don't care about your kid or your menstrual pains

You can call me rude but I like my solitude

And we don't need to chat while we're playing pool

So stay cool mister, I wasn't lookin' at your sister

That snaggletoothed sea hag, lips all blistered

Now rack the balls while I'm in the stall

Pissin' out vodka and walkin' up the walls

I turn off the ringer when my lady calls

Don't point your finger unless you want a brawl

I chalk up my cue and sink the eight ball

Then reach into my pocket and light a Pall Mall

'Cause it's all the same when they call my name

Mickey Avalon, hustler hall of fame

There ain't no ball and chain, to hold me down

Got a golden smile and a platinum frown

It's all the same when they call my name

Mickey Avalon, hustler hall of fame

There ain't no ball and chain, to hold me down

Got a golden smile and a platinum frown