If I Go Quiet

If I go quiet, don't fill in the lines

Don't say it's guilt or another goodbye

It's just that I've run out of ways to explain

What it feels like to carry the blame

I've turned down fights, swallowed pride

Let you redraw every side

Tried to talk-but truth got bent

So maybe silence is what I meant

If I go quiet, it's not the end

It's just the part where I stop pretendin'

That this is fine, that this is fair

That I'm not gasping for some air

If I go quiet, it's not a war

It's just a man who can't carry more

I've said it all, just not out loud

If I go quiet... maybe now I'm proud

I used to speak just to keep the peace

Talked in circles, begged for release

Said "I'm sorry" just to close the day

Even when you threw love away

Now I wake up, check the room

Count the steps to avoid the gloom

And I still stay, but not to prove

I've just got less of me to lose

If I go quiet, it's not defeat

It's just a heart done takin' heat

I've shown up more than I should've had to

If I go quiet... it's 'cause I finally had to

You said I shut down, said I withdrew

But you never asked what I'd been through

What parts I buried to keep this whole

What pieces I lost to pay that toll

If I go quiet, don't chase the sound

Don't call it cold just 'cause I'm not around

It's not revenge, it's not regret

It's peace... in the shape I get

If I go quiet...

just know I meant every word I never said