Again

Yo, I just need some time, I'm tryna think straight

I just need a moment in my own space

Ask me how I'm doin', I say "okay," yeah

But ain't that what we all say

Sometimes I think back to the old days

In the pointless conversations with the old me

Yeah, back when my momma used to hold me

I wish somebody woulda told me

It's been a whole year and a couple months

It takes 18 months... to get over love

I'm nearly there but it feels like a fucking mission

Mission impossible but time heals every mission

I swear... and back then what the fuck is heartbreak

That shit was funny now I'm sitting with a heartache

This shit is real got me laying flat, pancake

Flip me over with a pan, chingings in my back

I'm shaking like an earthquake

Really? they called her prestige

Light skinned girl, from northwest she was pristine

K K***'s daughter, I didn't know that when I met her

But that's all I heard cos no one ever called her by her real name

It's crazy, everybody wanted her it's scary

For shitty thoughts and reasons and that's why they moving lazy

But me I put my all in spoke the truth; I done it daily

But what she put me through you woulda thought I was in the navy

Look, see I been with her before I started rap

I was kicking ball, running tracks now I'm writing tracks

Gave her everything I could I guess I was a simp

Mama raised me right but where I'm from I'm walking with a limp

Everybody's different so I guess I trusted her

Hundred in this ting and I didn't think that she would cut me first

Damn... cut me worse and now I'm bleeding, all that damage now your leaving

Fuck, I beg somebody call a nurse

A boy best friend is suin she had... to me I didn't care I know it's crazy

Thinking nothing of it

She asked, can I see him course I said... go ahead

Never thought a thing and now it's suin deep and I regret

I was thinking, planning out our next date

While she was doing things, nasty things with her best mate

It's mad I only found out 7 months in

Confronted her in person but she saying it was a mistake

I just need some time, I'm tryna think straight

I just need a moment in my own space

Ask me how I'm doin', I say "okay," yeah

But ain't that what we all say

Sometimes I think back to the old days

In the pointless conversations with the old me

Yeah, back when my momma used to hold me

I wish somebody woulda told me

I only found out 7 months in

It's crazy cos it happened when we was only a month in

I was never insecure that's why I found out so late

Cus' I never had her socials I just put in my faith

She wanted mine, she gave me hers and I never logged in

But when I did, I saw some things she was pulling my strings

Talking to these guys and flirting she was taking the piss

And her cousin called me ugly and she laughed at it

I kept it calm then I bucked her

Showed her everything in person, really had my head burst

She was crying, squeezing begging me to stay

Tell me why I should stay when you was happy with your best mate

Funny thing is, she saying it was mistake

Call that one a mistake why the fuck d'you still talk ay

Tryna justify her actions but she can't say

Fuck I had enough I said I'm done safe

Blocked her on my socials I just couldn't cope

What she did was dumb but the principal, that hurt me most

Cus' I trusted her with all my heart

And I let her do what ever that was from the start

Cus' I had all hope, now I'm sitting in my room thinking it's my fault

It's fucking up my head this love is so cold

I'm writing lyrics, scary sight it's like 3 am

Someone rings my bell, fucking hell she said it's me again

She snuck out of her yard at these early hours

Climbing over fences doing parkour to get to me

She gave me 13 pages, handwritten notes

Explaining everything and why and then we dropped her home

I read it in my own time and it was making sense

Telling me about her past and why she did what she did

She didn't know we'd get this far, she had a broken heart

I asked my bros, I asked my mum and they said give her chance

I just need some time, I'm tryna think straight

I just need a moment in my own space

Ask me how I'm doin', I say "okay," yeah

But ain't that what we all say

Sometimes I think back to the old days

In the pointless conversations with the old me

Yeah, back when my momma used to hold me

I wish somebody woulda told me

Growing up I been a smart kid

It's fucked don't get it twisted cos... love it had me blinded

I decided to give her a chance I had a heart

Cus' ppl make mistakes and all she needed was a restart

But... she hit me right where I couldn't see it

Now I'm cautious of this pain and thinking damn... did she mean it

I gave her everything I could, anything she needed

This song is raw but I was pure, I was fucking scenic

They called me strong but now I'm toxic

I'm a prick now I can't help it, overthinking got me stressing out

I'm asking questions, where you at? I can't stop thinking

Is she cheating? If I'm honest I don't know cos I can't trust this girl

I gave her a chance but that don't change the past

And if I'm honest I don't think it's right so really it's a funny world

She killed me, now I'm treating her bad

I'm being peaker with my texting, showing lack of effort

Damn you got me feeling cold

Used to give her everything I could, but now I can't

I don't know how to, see my heart is like a broken glass

She put the pieces back, things were getting better

But it weren't the same, I'm still insane... here we go I'm thinking bad

I wrote her a song, "Bonnie and Clyde"

And she broke down and cried on her birthday

Yeah, you know the vibes

I tried to look past the past man you know I tried

And she was going through the most her life was worse than mine

Things were getting worse she had to live at mine

Money getting tight, sometimes I couldn't eat at night

It's been a couple months... times 2, she's my ride or die

My bother overheard a convo with her friend, she fed us lies

Planning a breakup, told me it's only a break. tryna break my heart again

All these boys back on her snap again, tried to turn my mum against me

Say I'm crazy and again, I gave her everything

FUCK! she really broke my heart again

I just need some time, I'm tryna think straight

I just need a moment in my own space

Ask me how I'm doin', I say "okay," yeah

But ain't that what we all say

Sometimes I think back to the old days

In the pointless conversations with the old me

Yeah, back when my momma used to hold me

I wish somebody woulda told me