What I Should Have Forgiven

I held your every mistake like a stone inside my chest

Built a little wall around it, called the bitterness my rest

I thought that keeping distance meant I finally had control

But anger is a poison that devours what is whole

I carried all our fractures

Like they proved I had been right

What I should have forgiven

Is the weight I kept on living

All the hurt I wouldn't loosen

Till it broke us both apart

What I should have forgiven

Is the fear behind your trembling

Now I see the cost of holding

What was never meant for my heart

You tried to make it easy, but I met you with closed hands

I turned a single moment into something I demanded

And all the bridges burned through words I never tried to mend

Now I replay every silence wishing I could bend again

I thought that being stubborn

Would protect me from the pain

What I should have forgiven

Is the weight I kept on living

All the hurt I wouldn't loosen

Till it broke us both apart

What I should have forgiven

Is the fear behind your trembling

Now I see the cost of holding

What was never meant for my heart

If I could speak to who I was

The day I turned away

I'd say that letting go is strength

And pride's too small a place to stay

What I should have forgiven

Is the anger I kept breathing

All the time I spent defending

Walls that kept me far from you

What I should have forgiven

Is the moment I chose distance

Now forgiveness feels like mourning

For the love I never grew