You Never Even Called Me By My Name (The Perfect Country & Western Song)

Well, it was all that I could do to keep from cryin'

Sometimes it seemed so useless to remain

But you don't have to call me darlin', darlin'

You never even called me by my name

You don't have to call me Waylon Jennings

And you don't have to call me Charlie Pride

And you don't have to call me Merle Haggard anymore

Even though you're on my fighting' side

And I'll hang around as long as you will let me

And I never minded standin' in the rain

But you don't have to call me darlin', darlin'

You never even called me by my name

Well, I've heard my name a few times in your phone book

(Hello, hello)

And I've seen it on signs where I've played

But the only time, I know, I'll hear "David Allan Coe"

Is when Jesus has his final judgment day

So I'll hang around as long as you will let me

And I never minded standin' in the rain

But you don't have to call me darlin', darlin'

You never even called me by my name

Well, a friend of mine named Steve Goodman wrote that song

And he told me it was the perfect country & western song

I wrote him back a letter and I told him it was not the perfect country & western song

Because he hadn't said anything at all about mama

Or trains, or trucks, or prison, or gettin' drunk

Well, he sat down and wrote another verse to the song and he sent it to me

And after reading it I realized that my friend had written the perfect country & western song

And I felt obliged to include it on this album

The last verse goes like this here

Well, I was drunk the day my mom got out of prison

And I went to pick her up in the rain

But before I could get to the station in my pickup truck

She got run over by a damned old train

And I'll hang around as long as you will let me

And I never minded standin' in the rain, Lord

But you don't have to call me darlin', darlin'

You never even called me

Well, I wonder why you don't call me

Why don't you ever call me by my name?