What It Was, Was Football (Pt. 1 & 2)

It was back last October, I believe it was

We was going to hold a tent service all off at this college town

And we got there about dinnertime on Saturday

And different ones of us thought that

We ought to get us a mouthful to eat before that we set up the tent

And so we got off of the truck and followed this little bunch of people

Through this small little bitty patch of woods there

And we come up on a big sign, it says, get something to eat here

And I went up and got me two hot dogs and a big orange drink

And before that I could take every mouthful of that food

This whole raft of people come up around me

And got me to where I couldn't eat nothing

Up like, and I dropped my big orange drink, I did

Well, friends, they commence in to move

And they want so much that I could do but move with them

Well, we commence to go through all kinds of doors and gates

And I don't know what hole

And I looked up over one of them and it says North Gate

And we kept on going through there

And pretty soon we come up on a young boy

And he says, ticket, please

And I says, friend, I don't have a ticket

I don't even know where it is that I'm going, I did

Well, he says, come out as quick as you can

And I says, I'll do, I'll turn right around the first chance I get

Well, we kept on moving through there

And pretty soon everybody got where it was that they was a-going

Because they parted and I could see pretty good, and I could

And what I seen was this whole raft of people a-setting on these two banks

And a-looking at one another across this pretty little green cow pasture

Well, they was

And somebody had tucked and drove white lines all over it

And drove posties in it and I don't know what all

And I looked down there and I seen five or six convicts

Are running up and down and are blowing whistles, there was

And then I looked down there and I seen these pretty girls

Are wearing these little bitty short dresses and are dancing around

And so I sat down and thought I'd see what it was that was going to happen

I did

And about the time I got sat down good

I looked down there and I seen 30 or 40 men come running out of one end

Of a great big outhouse down there, they did

And everybody where I was a-setting got up and hollered

And about that time, 30 or 40 come running out of the other end of that outhouse

And the other bank pulled, they got up and hollered

And I asked this fellow that was a-setting beside of me

I says, friend, what is it that they're hollering for?

Well, he whopped me on the back and he says, buddy, have a drink

Well, I says, I believe I will have another big orange

And I got it and sat back down

And when I got down there again

I seen that them men had got in two little bitty bunches down there

They had railed close together

And they voted they did

They voted and elected one man apiece

And them two men come out in the middle of that cow pasture

And shook hands like they hadn't seen one another in a long time

And then a convict come over to where there was a standing

And he took out a quarter and they come in to odd man right there, they did

Well, after a while, I seen what it was that there's odd man in for

It was that both bunches fool of them men

Wanted this funny looking little punkin' to play with, they did

And I know, friends, that they couldn't eat it

Because they kicked it the whole evening and it never busted

But talk anyhow, what I was a-telling was

That both bunches fool wanted that thing

And one bunch got it and it made the other bunch just as mad as they could be

And, friends, I seen that evening the awfulest fight

That I have ever seen in my life I did

They would run at one another and kick one another

And throw one another down

And stomp on one another and grind their feet in one another

And I don't know what all

And just as fast as one of them would get hurt

They'd tote him off and run another number

Well, they'd done that as long as I sat there

But pretty soon this boy that had said, ticket please

He come up to me and he says

Friends, you're going to have to leave

Because it is that you don't have a ticket

And I says, well, all right

And I got up and left

And I don't know, friends, to this day what it was that there's a doing down there

But I have studied about it

And I think that it's some kindly of a contest

Where they see which bunch of fool of them men can take that pumpkin

And run from one end of that cow pasture to the other

Without either getting knocked down or stepping in something