Reasons To Never Date Again

I just went out on a date that turned out not to be a date

Just a solo dinner where you're increasingly late

I call you and you say you wrote a text that you forgot to send

I just smile and say goodnight and swear I'll never date again

Picking clothes is such a chore I never know what I should wear

Am I too assertive if I wear that special underwear

I clean my room and water my plants in case you come over and then

I come home drunk and alone and swear I'll never date again

I thought that modern dating would get easier with time

I'd have good communication and not have to read your mind

I think that even Sisyphus would hate his uphill climb

And I'm not sure that Tinder was what Darwin had in mind

Message in your inbox with the same joke I've told a million times

Timing out your texts to match the tempo of your last reply

I could play these games or skip the middleman and sodomize my brain

At least my mind is getting some, more reasons to never date again

Making plans for ten days time that I know she'll never keep

Someone's mom just got to town, someone's cat got put to sleep

we'll make plans when they get back but never mentions where or when

I've diagnosed another ghost and reason, to never again

I thought that modern dating would get easier with time

I'd have good communication and not have to read your mind

I think that even Sisyphus would hate his uphill climb

And I'm not sure that Tinder was what Darwin had in mind

Everything's so casual everything's so cool

Don't let someone close enough to push you in the pool

Well I want someone to ruin my life I wanna fall in love again

But instead you only ruin my night with reasons to never date again