Текст песни
Costco lights buzzin', it's quarter past ten
Inventory's perfect, but something crawled in
Neighborhood's quiet too quiet to trust
Then Green slime splatters, and heads start to bust
Garage door code 911
Alien guts on aisle one
Suburbia's shield, HOA chief
Now he's got lasers and disbelief
Bowling nights and potlucks lie
Beneath the stars they spy
Evan Trautwig!
Manager, leader, suburban shield!
Evan Trautwig!
In khakis and courage, the truth is revealed!
When the sky cracks open and monsters drop in
You bet your lawn he's goin' all in
Evan Trautwig!
He'll save this block... again
Bob's got vodka, Franklin's high
Jamarcus ain't even a human guy
Neighborhood watch or alien fight?
They brought beer to a laser light night
Costco's his kingdom, polished and clean
Now it's ground zero in a sci-fi scene
No coupons for this invasion
Just guts, grit, and confrontation
Welcome to Glenview, where lawns are trimmed
And something beneath them is watching again
Knock-knock who's there?
Death in a hoodie with tentacles to spare!
Evan Trautwig!
Ordinary man in extraordinary war!
Evan Trautwig!
Blew an alien through the sliding door!
He's got no cape, no flashy name
But every alien burns the same
Evan Trautwig!
Neighborhood's last defense remains
This is our block back off!
This is our watch back off!
This is our Costco back off!
ALIENS CAN F*** OFF!