god?

I guess it kinda hurts sometimes, even when I say I think I'm fine

It's all upon my shoulders, I'm only getting older

I'm losing all the faith I had, which isn't much, but it's still sad

And I guess I kinda scare myself when I realize how much I've changed

They'd think me pretty odd because I don't believe in god

But I'm learning how to pray anyway

But I do believe in something, I just don't know what it is

I can't put my finger on it, but I hope that it exists

So I lean into a faith that I've never called my own

I look back and call it fate like there's some reason I don't know

'Cause I'm searching for a sign

Something more divine

Sitting up at night

Praying 'cause it don't hurt to try

Praying 'cause I'm already high

If I keep going up and I'm fine

If somebody answers the door in the sky

My first question is gonna be

"Why?"

There's a voice that I am hearing, there's a pounding in my head

Gotta search for greater purpose so I'm one more step ahead

So I lean into a faith that I've never called my own

I look back and call it fate, like there's some reason I don't know

And I question my existence and if things are meant to be

I block out all of the noise and all the faces that I see

Try to focus on the image of where I want to be

I'll figure out my future, manifest my destiny

Searching for a sign

Something more divine

Sitting up at night

Praying 'cause it don't hurt to try

Praying 'cause I'm already high

If I keep going up and I'm fine

If somebody answers the door in the sky

My first question is gonna be

"Why?"