P.A.N.I.C.

I start to sense the panic

Coursing through my veins

A sickness so bleak and tragic, I feel its symptoms now

Just like a noose around my neck

And I've spent my whole life

Trying to prove to myself that I was good enough

When in fact if I'd just opened my eyes

I'd have been sure to find what it takes to get better

I've lived my life under the shadow of doubt

I've lived my life beneath these darkened clouds

I've lived my whole life just trying to find a way to get by

Instead of fighting to make myself happy

(I'm cursed by this life I've led)

(Could you fix me?) Because inside I think I'm dead

Anxiety creeps up my spine

And I lose all breath as it smothers me

The world around me starts to fade to black

And I feel nothing again, I'm cold just like ice

Forgive me for thinking, that I would be just fine

'Cause I don't think my heart can take much more

Watching someone else I love to walk right out the door

And I feel that time's wasting away

Stuck with one foot in my grave

And I am so afraid (I am so afraid)

I've lived my life under the shadow of doubt

I've lived my life beneath these darkened clouds

I've lived my whole life just trying to find a way to get by

Instead of fighting to make myself happy

And one day I'll tell my sons

To follow their dreams no matter the chaos it brings

Life is too damn short to wallow

In our self-inflicted misery

And someday I'll prove to my sons

That I'm truly sorry for everything

Because I tried my best to love them

While also doing what's best for -

What's best for me

I want to live my life

Without regret

Sometimes I look in the mirror

Disgusted by my own reflection

That old familiar feeling

Creeps back up from the depths to steal my breath again