She Only Bitches When She Breathes

She said if we got married

Buy a house and some land

Pick out our circles of trust

Those matchin' weddin' bands

Life would be so sweet

And I'd treat you oh so nice

We'll be rollin' in the hay

Almost every night

Now one year later

Honey, I need you to mow the grass, take out the trash

Put the dishes in the dishwasher

And for heaven's sake, put the toilet seat down

She only bitches when she breathes

Rollin' in the hay upsets her allergies

Won't wear no sexy lingerie

Since she ate that wedding cake

Only thing she blows is my money and dreams

Yeah this circle of trust is like a band of thieves

She stole my heart and then my self esteem

I'll have to sum it up this way

She could turn a straight man gay

She only bitches when she breathes

She was always smilin'

Shy in many ways

She always kept me hangin'

On every word she'd say

She was sweeter than honey

And every man's dream

She said let's tie the knot

We'll make the perfect team

Now one year later

I work all day just like you do, why don't you wash your own clothes?

And buy some new underwear, because these won't come clean

And by the way, not tonight, I have a headache

She only bitches when she breathes

Rollin' in the hay upsets her allergies

Won't wear no sexy lingerie

Since she ate that wedding cake

Only thing she blows is my money and dreams

Yeah this circle of trust is like a band of thieves

She stole my heart and then my self esteem

I'll have to sum it up this way

She could turn a straight man gay

She only bitches when she breathes

Yeah she only bitches when she breathes

Rollin' in the hay upsets her allergies

Won't wear no sexy lingerie

Since she ate that wedding cake

Only thing she blows is my money and dreams