Still Struggling

Yeah

I still ain't glorifyin' shit—I'm survivin' it

Same bottle talkin' back, same ghosts inside me

This that pain they turn away from

But you pressed play anyway. Country Lunatic

Woke up on a mattress that used to be mine

Eviction on the door, past due on the light

Phone full of numbers, no one I can dial

Everybody love you till you ain't their style

Got a kid in the picture frame watchin' me fade

I see his eyes every time I chase that wave

Every hit I take feel like I'm tradin' his trust

For a fifteen—minute high and a lifetime of dust

I done pawned my dreams for a pocket full of hell

Lied to my mama sayin' rehab went well

Truth is, I left early, couldn't stomach the mirror

Rather drown in my poison than sit with that fear

I'm still strugglin', barely holdin' on

Smilin' in the crowd, then I break when I'm alone

Everybody say I'm strong, they don't know my knees

Shake every time that the craving screams

I'm still strugglin', fightin' not to fall

One bad night from losin' it all

If I die tonight, just remember one thing—

I was dyin' for years before I grew these wings

They cheer for the songs ‘bout the pills and the booze

But they don't see me in the back room comin' unglued

They don't hear the dealer still ringin' my line

Or the voice sayin' "fuck it" in the back of my mind

I ain't proud of the times that I chose that high

Over birthdays, funerals, lookin' in their eyes

I missed last Christmas ‘cause I couldn't get clean

Sat alone in a motel starin' holes in the screen

I got homies in the ground that would trade my breath

For one more hug, one more step

So when that bottle whispers it can set me free

I see tombstones lined up lookin' just like me

I'm still strugglin', barely holdin' on

Smilin' in the crowd, then I break when I'm alone

Everybody say I'm strong, they don't know my knees

Shake every time that the craving screams

I'm still strugglin', fightin' not to fall

One bad night from losin' it all

If I die tonight, just remember one thing—

I was dyin' for years before I grew these wings

If you're hearin' this high with a tear in your eye

Feelin' like nobody'd notice if you died

I swear to God you matter more than you think

You ain't weak ‘cause you tremble pourin' that drink

You ain't trash ‘cause you slipped, you ain't broken beyond

I was standin' where you are, now I'm reachin' my hand

We ain't promised tomorrow, we just promised this breath

So take one more with me, step back from that death

I ain't healed, I ain't holy, I'm a scar with a voice

But I'm done lettin' dope make every choice

If this the last track that you hear from me

Let it be the song that kept you free

Country Lunatic still bleedin', still real

Still usin' these wounds just to help you heal

One day at a time, even when it ain't enough—

We still strugglin' but we still showin' up