The Details

If I were the devil If I were the Prince of Darkness

I'd want to engulf the whole world in darkness

And I'd have a third of its real estate and four fifths of its population

But I wouldn't be happy until I had seized the ripest apple on the tree, Thee

So I'd set about however necessary to take over the United States

I'd subvert the churches first I'd begin with a campaign of whispers

With the wisdom of a serpent, I would whisper to you

As I whispered to Eve do as you please

To the young I would whisper that The Bible is a myth

I would convince them that man created God instead of the other way around

I would confide that what's bad is good and what's good is square

And the old, I would teach to pray after me our father which art in Washington

And then I'd get organized. I'd educate authors

In how to make lurid literature exciting

So that anything else would appear dull and uninteresting

I'd threaten TV with dirtier movies and vice versa

I'd pedal narcotics to whom I could

I'd sell alcohol to ladies and gentlemen of distinction

I'd tranquilize the rest with pills

If I were the devil I'd soon have families at war with themselves

Churches at war with themselves

And nations at war with themselves until each in its turn was consumed

And with promises of higher ratings I'd have mesmerizing media fanning the flames

If I were the devil I would encourage schools to refine young intellects

But neglect to discipline emotions just let those run wild

Until before you knew it you'd have to have drug sniffing dogs

And metal detectors at every school house door

Within a decade I'd have prisons overflowing

I'd have judges promoting pornography

Soon I could evict God from the courthouse

Then from the school house and then from the houses of Congress

And in his own churches I would substitute psychology for religion, and deify science

I would lure priests and pastors into misusing boys and girls, and church money

If I were the devil I'd make the symbols of Easter an egg

And the symbol of Christmas a bottle

If I were the devil I'd take from those who have

And give to those who want until I had killed the incentive of the ambitious

And what do you bet

I could get whole states to promote gambling as the way to get rich

I would caution against extremes and hard work in Patriotism

In moral conduct I would convince the young that marriage is old fashioned

That swinging is more fun that what you see on the TV is the way to be

And thus I could undress you in public

And I could lure you into bed with diseases for which there is no cure

In other words if I were the devil I'd just keep right on doing what he's doing