Ten years I've coded in these trenches deep
My servers humming while the city sleeps
No tickets burning, production runs so clean
The smoothest operation I have ever seen
My pipelines flowing like a river's course
Until HR sent me their newest resource
Fresh from academia, degree in hand
An intern stands before me, doesn't understand
INTERN FROM HELL!
He came and broke my peace!
No practical experience but a lot to say!
INTERN FROM HELL!
My sanctuary deceased!
Now chaos reigns where order ruled the day!
He storms into the standup, eyes ablaze
"We should rewrite it all!" he loudly says
"Microservices! Blockchain! AI!"
I try to explain but he won't hear why
Our monolith has served us faithfully
But he thinks legacy means tragedy
He schedules meetings with the CEO
Pitching dreams that he can't build, I know
INTERN FROM HELL!
He came and broke my peace!
No practical experience but a lot to say!
INTERN FROM HELL!
My sanctuary deceased!
Now chaos reigns where order ruled the day!
He doesn't read the documentation
Ignores the wisdom of our foundation
"This pattern's old, I learned a better way"
But he's never shipped code to production's fray
He merges PRs without review
Deploys on Friday, then he's through
While I'm the one who bears the aftermath
Of his untested, unvalidated path
INTERN FROM HELL!
He came and broke my peace!
No practical experience but a lot to say!
INTERN FROM HELL!
My sanctuary deceased!
Now chaos reigns where order ruled the day!
Three AM, my phone screams out in rage
Five hundred errors flooding every page
The database is down, the cache is blown
I'm fixing problems that I've never known
Meanwhile he sleeps so peacefully at home
While I'm debugging through his broken code
But management thinks he's innovative
While I'm the one working the graveyard shift
But wait... through exhaustion comes a memory clear
I see myself, a decade in the rear
I was that intern, passionate and blind
Breaking builds with my untested mind
A senior dev stayed late to set me straight
Showed me the path, helped me navigate
He didn't curse my name or push me out
He taught me what this craft is all about...
THE INTERN FROM HELL...
Was me once, don't you see?
Now I'll guide him like they guided me!
NOT AN INTERN FROM HELL...
But a developer-to-be!
I'll forge him in the fires that forged me!
From hell he came, but through the flames we'll rise
The cycle continues, the mentor never dies
Tomorrow I'll show him the ancient ways
And turn this intern from hell into steel that stays!