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Titties & Beer
Текст песни
It was the blackest night, there was no moon in sight
You know the stars ain't shinin' 'cause the sky's too tight
Heard the scary wind, I seen some ugly trees
There was a werewolf honkin' 'long the side of me
I'm mean and I'm bad, you know I ain't no sissy
Got a big-titty girly by the name of Chrissy
Talkin' about her and my bike and me
And this ride up the mountain of mystery, mystery
How you're doin'?
I noticed, even the crickets acting weird up here
And so I figured I might just drink a little beer
I said, "Gimme some of that what you're suckin' on"
But there was no reply 'cause she was gone
"Where's those titties that I like so well?
And my goddamn beer," is what I started to yell
Then I heard this noise like a crunchin' twig
And up jumped the Devil, he's about this big
He had a red suit on, and a widow's peak
And then a pointed tail, and like a sulphur reek
Yes, it was him alright, I sweared I knowed it was
He had some human flesh stuck underneath his claws
You know it looked to me like it was titty skin
I said, "You son-of-a-bitch," 'cause I was mad at him
He just got out his floss and started cleanin' his fang
So I shot him with my shooter, said, "Bang! Bang! Bang!"
And then the sucker just laughed and said
"Put it away, you know, I ate her all up, now what you gonna say?"
You ate my Chrissy? (Yeah, titties and all)
Well, what about the beer then? (Now, were the cans this tall?)
Even her boots? (Would I lie to you?)
Shit, you must've been hungry (yeah, this is true)
Don't they pay you good for the stuff that you do?
Well, you know, I can't complain when the checks come through
Well, I want my Chrissy (oh, yeah?), and I want my beer
So you just barf it back up now, devil, do you hear?
Look, blow it out your ass, motorcycle man
I mean, I am the devil, do you understand?
Just what will you give me for your titties and beer?
I suppose you noticed this little contract here
You're goddam right, you son of a whore (don't call me that)
That's about the only reason I learned writing for
Gimme that paper, bet your horns I'll sign
Because I need a beer, and it's titty-squeezin' time
Man, you can't fool me, you ain't that bad (oh yeah?)
Yeah, you should have seen some of the souls that I've had
There was Milhous Nixon and Agnew, too
And both of those suckers was worse than you
Let's make a deal, if you think that's true
I mean, you're supposed to be the Devil, so whatcha gonna do? (Now hold on just a second)
You wanna make a deal with me, huh? (Yeah)
Well, uh, I don't know, man, you know, I just don't know about this
What? Are you losing your nerve?
No, man, it ain't got nothing to do with nerve
It's got to do (you're supposed to be the devil, you're supposed to be bad)
It's got to do with style, fool
I don't know if you're the right style to get into Hell, you know
Well, actually, to tell you the honest-to-God truth
I'm very short on style, as a matter of fact
Yeah, I know, that's what makes me wonder (but let me)
But I have, I think I have something that you may be interested in (what is that?)
You can have my soul, it's a mean little sucker 'bout a thousand years old
But once you gets it, you can't give it back
You gotta keep it forever, and that's a natural fact
(Ooh, wee) do you read me, devil?
(Oh yeah, what, am I supposed to be scared, man?) Oh, yeah, read it already
Oh yeah, that's real tough, I bet you're real bad
Listen, fool, you got to prove to me that you're rough enough to get into hell
That you got the style enough to get into hell, so start talking
Alright, let me tell you something
I'll prove to you that I'm bad enough to go to hell (yeah)
Because I have been through it (yeah), I have seen it (yeah)
It has happened to me (yeah)
Remember, I was signed with Warner Brothers for eight fucking years (tell me about it)
(Now you're talking my language) how bad is that?
That sounds good to me, motherfucker
So move right along, tell me what your interest are, you know?
If we're going to come to some kind of agreement
I got to know what you're all about, you know?
'Cause I don't know if you're the right cat for the place, you know?
Look, let me tell you what my problem really is, you see (okay)
My problem is that I don't belong anywhere, you see (aha)
I don't even belong where you are, you see (I hope not)
I'm a simple person, you know?
I have very small desires in life
Titties and beer, you know? (No)
Titties and beer (no, no, man, you're joking)
Titties and beer, titties and beer (what?)
Titties and beer, titties and beer (no)
Titties and beer, titties and beer (no, please no)
Titties and beer, titties and beer (not that)
Titties and beer, titties and beer (oh no, man)
Titties and beer, titties and beer (please, ah)
Titties and beer, titties and beer (no, no)
Titties and beer, titties and beer (no, no)
Titties and beer, titties and beer (no, not titties)
Titties and beer, hey yeah (and beer)
Titties and beer, titties and beer (not titties and beer)
Titties and beer, titties, and I'm in you (oh no, man)
Titties and beer, I'm in you (are you kiddin' me)
Titties and beer, oh, look at this (oh no, no, no)
What I'm I gonna do with this (wait, wait, wait please, no)
No, don't sign it! Give me time to think
Hold on a second, boy, 'cause that's magic ink
Then the devil barfed and out come my girl
They heard the titties plop-ploppin', all around the world
She said, "I got me three beers and a fistful of downs
And I'm gonna get ripped, so fuck, you clowns"
Then she gave us the finger, it was rigid and stiff
That's when the devil, he farted, and she went right over the cliff
The devil was mad, I took off to my pad
I swear, I do declare, how did she get back there?
Swear, I do declare, how did she get back there?
Swear, I do declare, how did she get back there?
Swear, I do declare, how did she get back there?