History's Greatest Assholes

[Intro]

I got a new drum set, I'm testing it out

Look what I can do mom - yo!

So people always remember the good guys, but

what about the villains?

I-I-I've compiled a list of my favorite ones (turn me up)

in rap form, for you, here we go

The greatest assholes, in more or less chronological order

Here's a list of famous assholes, let's start with this dude

named Cain - he killed his brother, and that was just rude (family values)

Brutus & Cassius were jerks, just a little

Nero was no hero; Rome burned he played the fiddle

Caligula could give you a night to remember

Genghis Khan might tie you up, might lacerate your member

And when it came to ballers there was Vlad the Impaler

He'd run a stake up through you out your mouth to make you holla

It's no mystery, history remembers

Pirates pillaging, and villagers dismembered

Vikings on a quest in their dragon-shaped boats

Runnin up on castles, jumpin over moats

Christopher Columbus rolled up with a fungus

Pizarro and Cortes made the natives all say "Um this

one-sided exchange, is not that nice" (run for your life)

Like Henry the 8th, beheading wife after wife

[Chorus]

History's greatest, ASSHOLES [3X]

I'm calling you out, I'm calling you out

History's greatest, ASSHOLES [3X]

I'm smoking you out, I'm smoking you out

Benedict Arnold, and Oliver Cromwell (traitors)

Napoleon Bonaparte, all wish it had gone well

With blown apart plans, like Andrew Jackson

A Trail of Tears, dividing families like fractions

Jack the Ripper had bad morals like Lenin

Stalin killed 20 million, and sent them all to heaven

or hell I don't know, but one thing is for certain

So many Russian people murdered, behind an iron curtain

Gavrio Princip shot Franz Ferdinand

which lead to World War I and a famous Scottish Band

Which lead to World War II and freakin bodies everywhere

At the Holocaust Museum there's a wall of shoes and hair