King Of Devon

We've got the Mississippi. We've got the River Dart

Well, we've got the California girls. I know a Dawlish tart

We've got Miss America. Well, I've been on the Plymouth Hoe

What about Las Vegas? What about Devon County Show

Best show in Devon according to my records

We've got New Orleans, the big easy, don't you know

Well, we've got the open mic scene and another thing we call local radio

The unquenchable taste of Devon air

We've got Hollywood where dreams are lost and made

Well, we've got an army of pensioners and I'd still never ever, ever, ever, ever trade

'Cause I'm the King of Devon. There's no other place to go

If there's a world outside

There's a world outside

I don't want to know

We've got the Big Apple. We've got the Big Sheep. Baa

Well, we've got the windy city. Wow, I bet that smells pretty sweet

We've got the constitution. We've got the laws of the land

Built the Golden Gate Bridge. I've got six fingers on one hand. Yeah

We've got Independence Day. Didn't mean to cause you harm

Since then we've built the beautiful Babbacombe Model Village and I'm a platinum member at Crealy Farm

We've got Florida with sun, thrills and spills

I went to Quay West, Torbay once and hurt me back. Hang on a minute, I've got three words Trago Mills

'Cause I'm the King of Devon. There's no other place to go

If there's a world outside. There's a world outside? I don't want to know

Ooh arr. Yeehaw. Ooh arr

Ooh arr. Yeehaw. Ooh arr

You can stay at the Plaza Hotel. You can stay at the Horse and Groom

We can day trip to Nasa. When I bend over you can plant your flag in my moon

We're a super power that can bring you to your knees

Well, I'm too busy sleeping, 'cause I consumed my entire body weight in Devon cream

And I washed it down with a number of other creams

Single cream, Face cream, double cream, clotted cream, sun cream

Sour cream. Face cream again, some other cream, creme de la creme

Ice cream. Magic cream. Remember magic cream

Crediton Feniton Honiton Monkerton Otterton Tiverton

Yelverton Silverton Thorverton Torrington Ashburton

Cullompton Okehampton Kingsteignton Bishopsteignton

Paignton Dartmouth Exmouth Sidmouth Teignmouth

East Budleigh Budleigh Salterton

Totnes Topsham Brixham Uffculme Chagford Strete Chudleigh

Newton Abbot Ivybridge Barnstaple Bideford Bovey Tracey

Buckfastleigh Hatherleigh Bradninch Halwill Holsworthy

Exminster Axminster Ipplepen Tavistock Ilfracombe

Broadhembury Payhembury. Oh, goodness me

Moretonhampstead Newton Poppleford Tipton St John

Ottery St Mary Kenton Kenn Kennford Luppit

Cheriton Bishop Babbacombe Kingskerswell Dunkerswell

Farringdon Beer Whimple Wotter Woolacombe

Inner and Outer Ting Tong George Nympton Cockwood

Exeter Westward Ho! Dunchideock

That's right. I am the King of Devon and you can kiss my Wookey Hole

And I am aware that that's in Somerset, which of course is another place I'd never ever go