Young

My life has become a depressing incessant

Bore

My new mission?

To oldly go where old man has gone before

Like a floundering flabby old fart

Whose fling's been flung?

Yes thank you Bones

But at night in my dreams

I'm still back on the bridge

And I'm young!

Flashback!

Yeah!

Just a sly pioneer of the Final Frontier

Earth year 2266

Sure the sixties were fraught

But damn I was hot!

And you bet that I got my kicks

We would survey a planet

And chart it and scan it

And man it got rough in so many ways

I'd ask Spock to apprise

And then Bones would advise

So I'd do what I was gonna do anyways

I was just a dreaming pup

But my heart was beaming up!

James T Kirk was the swingin'est captain who ever swung!

Oh what I wouldn't give to be

Young!

Hey Flashback Sulu

Warp speed baby!

We discovered new worlds and new alien girls

Any sector you've heard of I've been to it

My hair was all mine

My body was fine

And all species of lady were into it

Forging peace all around each new planet we found

Captains never beam down

But I would!

Then come back from the trip

And relax on the ship

Safe in walls made of cardboard and plywood

With Uhura on the phones

Chekov Sulu Scotty Spock and

Me!

Damnit Jim!

There's no crew in the fleet who could beat

Those I voyaged among

Oh what I wouldn't give to be

Young!

Ah so many adventures

Exploring new systems

Investigating anomalies

And that one time Spock's brain

Got stolen

That was weird

Oh yeah and the crew of the Botany Bay

We rescued them yes

But then got in their way

They tried to take over the Enterprise

But I cut their big guy right down to size

Oh that planet we hastily stranded them on!

And their leader

What was his name?

Keith?

No wait

Khan, that's what it was Khan!

Whatever happened to that guy?

Anyway

I was young debonair sorta devil may care

Squarely daring each catch 22

Still the risks that I took weren't for kicks or for looks

But to save my ship and her crew

Now the memories flood my brain

With futuristic sci-fi white guy pain!

Are my winter years meant to be spent as a hero unsung?

Unsung?

Why can't I go back to then at Warp eight point five

To those better days when I was really alive?

What I wouldn't give to be

Young

Ahh my hip!