Uncle Harvey's Plane

Well me 'n oliver 'n Virgil were in the drugstore killin' time

When my eyes fell upon this magazine

Well I got to reading this article about sky diving and parachutes

Said jumpin out of airplanes was the thing

Being raised down on the farm and always ready for adventure

Well I knew that I could find a way

Delmer Gill he's got a parachute and uncle Harvey's got an airplane

So we called the boys together

Today's the day

Well I found out too late what Uncle Harvey called an airplane

It was nothing but an engine and a wing

Now I felt my fear begin to rise as Delmer packed that parachute

Cuz' he told me i was doing the right thing

Ron McGloughlan shook my hand and JD strapped me in the harness

Some children brought a jug and they passed it round

Well I took one look at that parachute and that whiskey and that airplane

And I turned that bottle up and I drank it down

Well I was drunker that Cooter Jones when they poured me in the plane

Say the engine coughed and headed for the clouds.

Well I was sober as a judge when Harvey opened up the door

And I never known my heart could beat so loud.

I screamed "Harvey, I can't do this. You and I have known each other a very long time and you've been my uncle all my life and to ask another human being to jump out of an airplane at this altitude and this velocity is simply ridiculous man" at which point he kicked me out the door

And I wrapped my hands around the landing gear

And I was holding on real good til Harvey stepped upon my fingers

And Virgil heard me scream from way down there

Well I'd thank God and I'd thank Buddha I'd thank Jesus I'd thank Judah

I'd thank Krishna and all the lesser Hindu gods

Most of all thank my good friend Delmer Gill when my parachute finally opened

And I thought hell there ain't no use in being afraid

I came crashing through that hen house

I scared chickens I broke eggs

And then I kissed that ground and I fainted dead away

Now friends I've been in a few battles

And I've been shot at once or twice

And I've damned near been runned over by a train