You'll Understand When You're Older

Pack your bags, we're going on a guilt trip.

First stop: 12th grade.

Always thought I could buy happiness,

But I'm emotionally spent and I can't afford to lose again.

Another girl, another friend.

Another reason to leave the party early

When I see you on the other side of the room.

The worst four letters: L O V

Enough's enough. I'm sick of having fun.

I'm sick of everything I love going to someone else.

And at the end of the night,

I'll still walk you to your car and

I take the long way home to avoid everyone.

Text me when you get homesick.

I've been thinking about that phone call.

I've been driving past your exit.

I know what we had wasn't perfect,

But if it isn't fixed, don't break it. Don't

Broken window playing ball in the backyard.

Broken window when I got in a fight with you.

Broken window just to get in my own house.

The landlord locked me out.

The rent's past due.

Order up! Burns on your hands from years of food service. Loser.

What the fuck? I worked 40 hours last week this can't be right.

Under the table life.

Flipping burgers, washing dishes, pumping gas,

Delivering pizzas, every weekend until I the day die.

I watch the kids with degrees just step all over me.

Now I'm arguing with some guys from New Jersey over extra cheese,

And I still think about that phone call,

And I still pass your exit and every day I think.

And I think about it- And I think-

So this is what I had to live for?

So this is what I had

to live for?

Empty pockets, heartbreak, past mistakes,

Friends I hate, every night and every day until I just evaporate, I -

- love someone and it's just not working. I-

- can't follow my dreams because I'm always working. I -

- need to go back to school I'm almost thirty. I -

Don't know why I'm alive, I swear I should have died that night.

It's hard for me,

It's hard for me to say that I'm actually happy that I'm still here.

I really try,

But I'm really not okay and there's

No headline for the kid who survived.

There's no headline for the kid who survived.

There's no headline for the kid who survived.