I Bought You A Plastic Star (For Your Aluminum Tree)

It gets pretty cold here at night, down to sixty degrees

There's angel hair up in the palm trees, it sure looks like Christmas to me

But, Santa's been grounded, his reindeer came down with TV

So, I bought you a plastic star for your aluminum tree.

Father Christmas ain't been seen in years down at

Sak's Fifth or Macy's, maybe try Sears'

Spend all ye faithful with all your might

Gonna have ten years of Silent Night.

Thought I'd make an impression, before the depression hit me

So, I bought you a plastic star for your aluminum tree.

We barely recover from pumpkins and Thanksgiving time

Then those acrylic-bearded Santas start clinging at Sunset and Vine

That snowflake in hell has more chance to stay mellow than me

So, I bought you a plastic star for your aluminum tree.

Easy credit may not cure your ills, un--

less your address is ... in Beverly Hills

Spend all ye faithful with all your might

Gonna have ten years of Silent Night.

Thought I'd make an impression, before

the depression hit me

So I bought you a plastic star for your aluminum

bought you a plastic star for your aluminum

bought you a plastic star for your aluminum tree

If you own stock, then sell for half an ounce of Chanel--it's Christmas!

You better hit Fort Knox just to buy ties and socks--it's Christmas!

Pause Cuss at the shock, then bus over to Toys-R-Us--it's Christmas!