Merry Christmas From The Family (Live Session, Nashville, TN, 2019)

Mom got drunk and Dad got drunk

At our Christmas party

We were drinking champagne punch and homemade eggnog

Little sister brought her new boyfriend

He was a Mexican

We didn't know what to think of him

'Til he sang "Feliz Navidad, Feliz Navidad"

Brother Ken brought his kids with him

The three from his first wife Lynn

And the two identical twins

From his second wife Mary Nell

Of course he brought his new wife Kay

Who talks all about AA

Chain smoking while the stereo plays

"Noel, Noel, the First Noel"

Carve the turkey, turn the ball game on

Mix margaritas when the eggnog's gone

Send somebody to the QuikPak store

We need some ice and an extension cord

A can of bean dip and some Diet Rites

A box of tampons, some Marlboro Lights

Hi-Lee, everybody say cheese

Merry Christmas from the family

Fran and Rita drove from Harlingen

I can't remember how I'm kin to them

But when they tried to plug their motor home in

They blew our Christmas lights

Cousin David knew just what went wrong

We all waited out on our front lawn

He threw a breaker and the lights came on

And we sang "Silent Night, O Silent Night"

Frosty the Snowman

Carve the turkey, turn the ball game on

Make Bloody Marys 'cause we all want one

Send somebody to the Stop & Go

We need some celery and a can of fake snow

A bag of lemons and some Diet Sprites

A box of tampons, some Salem Lights

Hi-Lee, everybody say cheese

Merry Christmas from the family

Feliz Navidad