TAPE

I can barely rap, I can barely dance

I can barely laugh, I can barely hang

I want a male stripper to do a belly dance

For me and my boyfriend, that's entertainment

And I'm drunk as fuck, my niggas tuxed up

I need a reason to get my bucks up

I need a reason to care about society

They need a good enough reason just to hire me

But, honestly, you see my mom can't walk

And her lungs don't work like they used to

I feel like it's my fault 'cause of music

I be sayin' shit that's just fuckin' rude and untrue and–

But truthfully, the words had damage and it's cruel to me

But even more cruel to be

Dissin' you in front of niggas that pay to hear me

Sometimes I be wondering, why I been trippin' off it

I should probably spend my time writing rhymes in the dentist's office

That's killin' two birds in one stone

When I was younger, way before I was grown

I wanted a deal with Death Row or Rhymesayers

I'm savin' my time for mics later

I might save it, dependin' on the shit that y'all write later

I hate writers, I hate tweets, I hate journalists

They hate truth, they hate peace

They want my niggas to burn with us

Flickin' on the face of my wrist watch

Watch the time stop just to speed up, watch life unfold

And between the tick-tocks, speedin' down the one-way

Fuck these signs! Fuck these lights! Put my life on the line

When it feel right, I'm fine, no, I'm not lyin', don't ask me

I'll pay the fine, I'll pay the toll, just hope I don't crash it

But, hey, if I do, it will be a blaze of glory

Engulfed by the manifestation of death behind me

All my life I've felt inadequate, and through the years I've dealt with

Tragedy after tragedy, God, send a message

Send a messenger my way, never claimed to be a saint, forgive me

Feel like the light that I was blessed with has diminished

I'm haunted by the visions of my youth turned true

I've come to expect my expectations aren't true

But I'm a master of believin' my lies

And you can't break me, and I can't brake at the speed of light

I'm afraid to share the bed, what if she want money later?

Like she got laid off, uh, hit my lawyer for some paper

I'm afraid to speak my pains like, "You lucky where you at"

"You cool, but quit complainin' 'bout all that"

That's why I'm showin' up late

I'm not tryna be a dick, but my time is not to waste

For myself, for the small talk with my sensei, where my sense at?

Four-cylinder go 'round, Lincoln Town Car pick me up, drop me off

I got bubble under my biceps, sneak me into the sidestep

Ego is gettin' sized up, I be on butterfly effect

Fuck it, I'll be myself now, tell 'em I take no shit now

Tell 'em they work for me now, tell 'em my tears, they bleed down

Tell 'em I work, like, what? What time for me now?

Wondering who is me now, wondering where you been now

Lose you in crowds, I see now, 14, I see 'em all inside of me now

Bank account move like speeds now, make it from ways to feed now

Thinkin' of ways to be everything but right now

It's crazy how things feel the best

When reminiscin' till we check ourselves

It's crazy how people who left

Say they feelin' left out when we step for health

Still accustomed to nights filled with solitude

I don't always remember to call goodnight

I don't always remember my altitude

I don't always remember to stop the fight

But I might check my sight, it ain't right

Yeah, I know, but my strife overwhelms, every night

Until I'm forced to close my eyes

Brain disease, parasite, eatin' me from inside

Emotions bleed, I can't believe

How I'm slippin' through the night