Текст пісні
I don't know what's wrong with me, I think I'm better dead
Drowned up in a bathtub, or a bullet in my head
Contemplating suicide, a calculated risk
Packed up all my mags, now motherfucker picture this
A barrel in my mouth, it's got a bullet with my name
Written on the casing, if I go against the grain
Fuckin' splattered on my wall, left everything I've ever had
Every single fuckin' item and the memory that's bad
I can't say how I got this way, I have no explanation
My morbid fascination with the exsanguination
Of my body and of others damn, these urges are too strong
Pullin' knives across my skin, runnin' till blood's drawn
The blade is runnin' down my arm, I'm lovin' the blood loss
Always runnin' down the street, I never go across
Layin' in a bright red pool, bleedin' in my room
I'll be found in three days time, sometime around noon
I don't even know why the fuck I try so hard
Nobody will hear about the news or get a card
All I really know is my depression's takin' over
And my mind is playin' tricks on me, the devil's on my shoulder
Fuck it, imma rack it and just blow my head up out of here
Out of body, out of mind, and now I'm lookin' back down
At the chaos I've created, and I wanna breathe again
Maybe it was just a big mistake to even begin
It was a long time comin' and nobody thought it would
But my gruesome, grotesque thoughts made me misunderstood
The combination of my depression and compulsion
Drove me to this fate that so many find repulsive
I'm lookin' up now from my spot down in hell
Watchin' as my downstairs neighbors scream, shout, and yell
A smile on my face as I realize I am free
From my earthly shackles, this is how it's meant to be
I can't help but wonder, was my life worth living?
I find it hard to say because my life wasn't thrillin
But it's blood under the bridge, there's nothin' I can do
I take back what I did? I wouldn't want to