Vorpal Laserblaster of Pittenweem

Long ago, in times of war

Men spoke of an artifact

Built by gods from worlds unknown

And wielded by kings

With the blaster in my hands

Lord Zargothrax (Lord Zargothrax) would surely yield

Goblin armies run away in fear

We must find it here

For the kingdom of Space Dundee

For the powerful weapon that I seek

In the ashes of nuclear war

Remember the things we are fighting for

For the land where the dragon flies

Far across the enchanted sapphire sky

I've seen it inside of my dreams

The Vorpal Laserblaster of Pittenweem

Weapon borne of mystic times, a fragment of destiny

Charged with light from an ancient star and forged from pure steel

He who wields dark matter cannon becomes one with the power

I must quest far and wide until it is mine, I'll quest for all time

For the kingdom of Space Dundee

For the powerful weapon that I seek

In the ashes of nuclear war

Remember the things we are fighting for

For the land where the dragon flies

Far across the enchanted sapphire sky

I've seen it inside of my dreams

The Vorpal Laserblaster of Pittenweem

Ride, mighty warriors across the plains of East Kilbride

Pass the icy chasms to the mountains of Strathclyde

There, inside a citadel where a robot guards the way

You will find the blaster to smite your foes this day

For the kingdom of Space Dundee

For the powerful weapon that I seek

In the ashes of nuclear war

The tales of our glory will live evermore

Now the chest is before my eyes

But inside, there is emptiness and lies

By the wizard I've been deceived

The Vorpal Laserblaster of Pittenweem

Pathetic mortal scum

Your quest was in vain, and your realm is doomed

For the Vorpal Laserblaster of Pittenweem

Is now in the hands of the immortal Zargothrax