She cooks with lard, loves hot food bars
A quart of sweet tea and fried pork skins
Can't get enough, eats 'til she's stuffed
Goes to the bathroom, then she comes back again
She thinks she looks just like Madonna
When she runs her greasy fingers through her bleach blonde hair
Most times she'll place another order
And Lordy have mercy on that little bitty chair
She's got a butt bigger than the Beatles
Eating me out of house and home
Her booty size, well, it ought to be illegal
She has a hard time sitting on the throne
Hamburgers, hotdogs
Cheese fries, and coleslaw
A dozen bear claw
Yum, yum, yum
Loves sausage links, hates diet drinks
Takes up both seats in a two-seater car
Her doctor said, lay off the bread
But he didn't say nothing 'bout a Snickers bar
She drinks sweet milk by the gallon
And she'd never eat a salad or a lean cuisine
Then she'll lay spread out on the hammock
After she's done her damage at the dairy queen
She's got a butt bigger than the Beatles
Folks make fun 'cause she's over grown
Her rumps shack like a Volkswagen Beetle
She gives new meaning to the words, big-boned
Bagels and cream cheese
Vanilla ice cream
A tube of whip cream
Yum, yum, yum
No, you won't find her name on the weight loss of fame
Down at Jenny Craig's
When she cleans 'em out at the waffle house
They'll bring in more ham and eggs, ooh, ooh
She's got a butt bigger than the Beatles
Her favorite food is chocolate ding dongs
It's wide enough to play linebacker for The Eagles
Deon Sanders better leave her alone
Try chicken that's baked
Or a fat free milk shake
Enough for God's sake
Stop the insanity!
Weight Watchers, yeah
Weight Watchers, yeah
Yeah, I watched her weight
I watched it go from one, 17 and a quarter
When I married her
To three hundred and seventeen and a half
Two and a half years later
But I still love you, hunny!