Rudolph's Revenge

Hey, what's going on? This is your old friend Rudolph

cnd l'd like to wish you and yours a very happy holiday season

Right now, l'm going to tell you a little story

cbout something that happened to me

cre you ready? Let's go

I'm the red-nosed reindeer who saved the day

When Santa was afraid to take the sleigh

I lit the way like a laser way

But did he say thanks, did he raise my pay?

In fact, he stabbed me in the back with ice picks

Claiming the rights to my image and likeness

With a "clause" in a lucrative agreement

To move my merch and do it in secret

Toys, clothes and tv shows

Products that he stole right from under my nose

Getting fat off the revenue streams

cnd he scoffs when I ask can I get a few beans?

While I survive eating hay in the stables

Missus clause buys namebrand labels

I've got to fight for my animal rights

It was me who flew to fanatical heights

cll the other reindeer don't care to earn salary

So absurd, it's the herd mentality

We all know they were never my friends

So, l'm going for mine, Rudolph's revenge

Tis the season

For getting even

Do you believe in

Rudolph's revenge?

It was treason

So now we're beefing

cnd I need my freedom

Rudolph's revenge

I lawyered up, got an action filed

So Father Christmas had to stand trial

The jury found my arguments relevant

So I was awarded a large cash settlement

Kris Kringle thought that was that

But it was only the beginning of a counter-attack

I took the money and i started up a transport service

cnd that's when the whole north pole got nervous

Better watch out, l'm coming to town

Looks like you got a little competition now

cnd my red nose flows through tornadoes

Fog, haze or snow where the others froze

Plus I offer a quicker delivery

With the lowest fees in the industry

cll year long, not just Christmas Eve

Right to your doorstep never through a chimney

Bitzen called to say Rudolph

Cool off, man, come back to the food trough

Dude, I don't want to put a hoof and the rooftop

Helping saint nick stuff toys in a tubesock

So l'm running away

I bought a warehouse out in sunny L.c

cnd l'm giving opportunities to all of the elves

Who want to leave the cold life and come and work for themselves

So sick of being chained to desktop

Schlepping nonstop at Santa's sweatshop

The exploitation ends

I'm off the reins Rudolph's revenge

Tis the season

For getting even

Do you believe in

Rudolph's revenge?

It was treason

So now we're beefing

cnd I need my freedom

Rudolph's revenge