I Don't Flirt Anymore (I Don't Hurt Anymore)

I don't flirt anymore

Since my wifey caught me

In the factory stockroom

With my secretary

Then she picked up a broom

And she lowered the boom

I wound up on the floor

I don't flirt anymore

She busted my head, I thought I was dead

I couldn't feel any worse

But as I was led to my hospital bed

I took a turn for the nurse

I don't flirt anymore

Now I'm sad and I'm wise

Gonna leave all the girls

To the rest of you guys

But when the swellin' goes down

I'll be up and around

And I'll be flirtin' for sure

When I don't hurt anymore

She thinks I'm a louse, I'm in the doghouse

Crawlin' around on my knees

Now lookie here spouse, am I man or a mouse?

She threw me a big piece of cheese

I don't flirt anymore

I'm as true as can be

'Til a real pretty girl

Rolls her eyeballs at me

I don't flirt anymore

But I'll have to confess

I don't flirt anymore

But I don't flirt any less