Port of Lonely Hearts

I give my woman half my money at the general store

I said, "Now buy a little groceries, and don't spend no more."

But she gave ten dollars for a ten cent hat

And bought some store bought cat food for a mean eyed cat.

When I give her ten more dollars for a one way ticket

She was mad as could be

Then I bet ten more that if she ever left

She'd come a-crawlin' back to me

When I woke up this mornin' and I turned my head

There wasn't a cotton pickin' thing on her side of the bed

I found a little note where her head belonged

It said, "Dear John, honey, baby, I'm long gone."

When I heard a whistle blowin', and the big wheels a-turnin'

I was scared as I could be

I pt on my overalls and I headed to town

Gonna bring her back with me.

I asked the man down at the station if he'd seen her there

I told him all about her pretty eyes and long, blonde hair

He spit his tobacco, said, "I'll be dad blamed,

I believe I did see her leavin' on the east bound train."

I bought a round trip ticket on the east bound train

I was broke as I could be

But when I come back, gotta buy another ticket

Gotta bring her back with me.

Well' I got off the train somewhere in Arkansas

And I worked up the guts to call my Mother-In-Law

She said, "I'll tell you where she is, if you act right."

"She's workin' four to twelve at Trucker's World tonight."

When I walked in she saw me, and she took off her apron

And she grabbed her goin' home hat

She bought a ticket with her tips

And now we've curled up on the sofa, me and her, and that mean eyed cat.