Pascal's Wager

The words of one of my favourite poets, Ernest Dowson

Are quite often with me

"Non sum qualis eram"

"I'm... I'm not as I was"

And though as I know as well as you do

There is no point in arguing about the actual date

Or time of departure because I'd like to think there would be no good time

I hope you'll agree with that

Something that I urgently felt I ought to do or say

And one mustn't repine or give into self-pity about that

But at this moment I have to say

I feel very envious of someone who is young

And actively starting out in this argument

In the meantime, we have the same job we always had

To say, as thinking people and as humans

That there are no final solutions

There is no absolute truth

There is no supreme leader

There is no totalitarian solution

That says that if you will just give up your freedom of inquiry

If you will just give up

If you will simply abandon your critical faculties

A world of idiotic bliss can be yours

But we have to begin by repudiating all such claims

Grand rabbis

Chief ayatollahs

Infallible popes

The pedlars of surrogate

And mutant quasi-political religion and worship

The dear leader

The great leader, we have no need of any of this

And looking at them and their record

And the pathos of their supporters

I realise that it is they who are the grand impostors

And my own imposture this evening was mild by comparison

Thank you very much

There is a guilt reserved for that fearful day

In great denial, I will say no more

I will reserve that shame for the thieves and whores

In great denial, I will say no more

There is a silence that comes eventually

In great denial, I will say no more

No longer a reason to laugh

But what do you have to lose

When you're pissing into the wind?