I'm Okay but I'm Not

They ask how I've been lately

I say fine, I don't elaborate

I learned how to change the subject

Before my voice starts to break

I don't bring you up anymore

I let them think I've moved on

But every time I'm alone

You're still where my mind goes

I stop crying in public

Stop saying your name

I look like I'm healing

But nothing's changed

I'm okay but I'm not

I smile, I laugh, I say a lie

I say I'm good, I play my part

But I'm okay

But I'm not

I got better at hiding the truth

At pretending I don't miss you

Everyone thinks I've moved on

I'm okay

But I'm not

I don't post about missing you

I don't say it out loud

I keep it together in daylight

And fall apart when it's quiet now

You say, you seem strong but lately

I nod like I don't feel weak

But strength doesn't mean you're healed

It just means you don't speak

I don't reach out anymore

I don't ask why it ended

I learned how to survive it

Not how to mend it

I'm okay but I'm not

I smile, I laugh, I say a lie

I say I'm good, I play my part

But I'm okay

But I'm not

I got better at hiding the truth

At pretending I don't miss you

Everyone thinks I've moved on

I'm okay

But I'm not, oh

I'm okay, I'm okay

I'm not cracking down

I'm just holding it in

And the difference now

Between healed and surviving

I'm okay

But I'm not

I've learned how to live with the thought

That some things don't fade with time

They just learn to stay quiet inside

I'm okay,

But I'm not

Oh, I'm okay, I'm okay