Spoilt For Choice

You'll only ever be as good as the dumbest things you've done

And you'll keep replaying all those arguments you never won

And you'll never "see the light" if you've been staring at the sun

I'm as bad as you are when it comes to all these things

Trading rationale for shooting stars and magic beans

And we'll cradle up our secrets like they're worth their weight in dreams

But it is what it is, not what it could or should have been

And for all it is, it ain't what it was

Searching for cause in an endless reasoning

When the reason is, well, it's just because

I remember that abandonment, I still feel it in my face

The muscle memory pokes my cheeks with blissful laughing aches

The fatiguing fits are gone now, but I guess the smile won't fade

It's easy to be let down if you're casting out too far

And yes it's hard to be yourself if you don't know who you are

Always want to wish upon that never-falling star

Hands tied like a hog, tired & teared up like a child

Clenching your hands into fists

There's down turned and twinkless wrinkles in your eyes

And I know it doesn't seem so, but there is

I was dead when I was young, I'll be just as dead too when I'm old

Ever since the burning passion charred & became a scarring scold

Now I'm cursing at the staring sun, just wishing it was cold.

So much more than what it takes to survive

It's all sorting the men from the boys

Spent my days feeling like I was so damn deprived

When all these years I've just been spoilt for choice

How could I not have seen I was spoilt for choice?