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I got 341 days sober and next year is my 50th anniversary
In show business. Let's do a fucking show, huh?
You know, something people don't talk about in public anymore? Pussy
Farts. Now I said that on my last HBO show and apparently some people
Don't know what a pussy fart is. Cause I got some inquiries. Here'
S the deal. A pussy fart is like when you're making love to a woman
Who's got a little extra air in her vagina. And every time you thrust
Forward, it's kind of a -fart noises- It's just, you know. And the
Two of you are just lying there, each is wondering if the other one
Farted. And the man is usually thinking, "Maybe she farts when she
Cums. Maybe she took a shit. Man
I gotta stay out of that fucking bar."
Another word you don't hear too often is dingleberries. You know
You never hear it on Meet the Press. I think it's cause dingleberries
Is one of them words you don't say too much past your tenth birthday
It's not a grown-up's word. It's a kid's word. Dingleberries!
Always sounded kinda Christmas-y to me. Don't you think it has
A holiday ring to it? Dingleberries! "John, you might wanna hang
Some dingleberries over the front door. Then when Mary Anne comes
Over, she can kiss you under the dingleberries!" "It is to be
Devoutly wished that she would kiss me under the dingleberries."
Cornhole is another word you don't hear enough. You don't hear that
Nearly enough, you know? It's a good word, it's a solid word. It'
S a tough word, it's a man's kinda word, it's got a masculine sound
It's like, like, like shotgun and ashcan and tow truck. Cornhole
Everything's been, everything's been sanitized now and cleaned up
First with these fucking Christians, you just start with them
You know, I'm telling you, you know. That's just one, wait a minute
Now. Yeah. You know. But let's, let's not leave out these PC campus
Liberal assholes, I mean, they're just as fucking bad from a
Different direction. But everything's different. Everything's been
Polished up now. It's anal intercourse
Anal rape. Bullshit. Cornhole