Your Flag Decal Won't Get You into Heaven Anymore

Well I just finished readin' Reader's Digest

In the back of a dirty bookstore

A plastic bag with gum on the back

Fell out on the floor

Well I picked it up and ran outside

And slapped it on my window shield

Said, "If I could see old Betsy Ross

I'd tell her how good I feel"

But your flag decal won't get you

Into Heaven anymore

We're already overcrowded

From your dirty little war

Now Jesus don't like killin'

No matter what the reason's for

And your flag decal won't get you

Into Heaven anymore

Well I went to the bank this morning

And the cashier said to me

"If you join our Christmas Club

We'll give you ten of them flags for free"

Well I didn't mess around a bit

Took him up on what he said

And I slapped them flags all over my car

And one on my wife's forehead

And it's 1, 2, 3

What are we fightin' for?

Don't ask me, I don't give a damn

Next stop is Vietnam

And it's 5, 6, 7

Open up the pearly gates

Well there ain't no time to wonder why

Whoopee, we're all gonna die

Well I got my window shield so filled

With flags that I couldn't see

So I ran the car upside a curb

And right into a tree

By the time they got the doctor down

Well I was already dead

And I'll never understand why the man

Standin' at the pearly gates said

That your flag decal won't get you

Into Heaven anymore

We're already overcrowded

From your dirty little war

Now Jesus don't like killin'

No matter what the reason's for

And your flag decal won't get you

Into Heaven anymore