(Lord, It's Hard to Be Happy When You're Not) Using the Metric System

12 Inches per foot, 2 pints to a quart

Why don't we make it easy?

The English system of measurement

Must be laid to history

We can use units of ten and convert with ease

Like all the other countries

I am in command, yes I am taking a stand

From this disease we must be free

(Good God!)

You're drunk with your tradition

That has no validity

While I'm intoxicated with smart demetrics

Come drink a decaliter with me

We want metrics, we want it now

We know we can win

I weigh 170 pounds, that's 90 kilograms

See, metrics can even make you thin

All cool things are in metrics

For example, here's just one

I got my 9, well that's 9 millimeters

Sounds cooler than my 20-something inches gun

The boat of the nonexistent dead

Will call me communist, they'll call me scum

But it's worth it, Canadians will think we're smart

At least they'll think we are not as dumb

You're drunk with your tradition

That has no validity

While I'm intoxicated with smart demetrics

Come drink a decaliter with me

We want metrics, we want it now

We know we can win

I weigh 170 pounds, that's 90 kilograms

See, metrics can even make you thin

The revolution's here

We must overcome at last

As we symbolically stick their fucking foot

Up their fucking ass

Guitar!

You are drunk with your tradition

That has no validity

While I'm intoxicated with smart demetrics

Come drink a decaliter with me

We want metrics, we want it now

We know we can win

I weigh 170 pounds, that's 90 kilograms

See, metrics can even make me thin