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Been together four years and had five kids
So we did the right thing and finally got hitched
We tracked down the preacher after altar call
And proceeded to the VFW hall
When he said "Cletus, t-do you take double is?"
I stuttered "I do" knowin I done did
The wedding cake was moon pie stacked three tiers
And the punch bowl flowed with Falstaff beer
Now that's about as swanky as this town gets
They threw rice, heck they threw grits
No stretch limousine just a full size van
But at least we was headed for the promised land
On our hillbilly honeymoon
No champagne, caviar, cordon bleu
A can of Vienna sausage and a Mountain Dew
And soda packs too
On our hillbilly honeymoon
Spent all our money on pay-per-view
Didn't need Playboy to get in the mood
Just some roller derby, wrestlin and Rambo too
And three and four curled up in a room
On our hillbilly honeymoon
Well after a while things simmered down
So we got dressed up for a night on the town
There ain't nothin' too good for my sweetheart
Took a romantic stroll through the Super Wal-Mart
We got back wantin' some fine cuisine
We bought out the whole darn vending machine
On our hillbilly honeymoon
No danville plates of finger foods
Just M&M's, Snickers and tomato juice
And Cheez Whiz too
On our hillbilly honeymoon
I spent half our savings in the hardware aisle
She spent the rest on the latest styles
Of thong underwear that drove me wild
Back in the room
I tried 'em on too
On our hillbilly honeymoon
Well it's been three years, got four more young'uns
Ain't a lot of time for much kissin' and a-huggin'
For the last eight weeks I've slept on the couch
Think it's about time we renewed our vows
And took another hillbilly honeymoon
No filet mignon just barbecue
And a box of wine we can ice down too