VOICES IN MY HEAD

As I walk through life

Comfy doing my thing

As I watch you

Check

As I walk through life

Comfy doing my thing

I look to the side, and I see

A few man, they wanna ruin my thing

But I guess that's life

Each step that I take

I'm pursuing my thing

And my thing is rhymes

Lord knows

I ain't chewing up kling

But a man's been low

You never would know

I'm a confident brother so it never would show

Mom worked 2 jobs, I was waiting after school but she never would show

True, I walked home alone, I would think to myself I'mma win as I grow

True, it messed with my soul, why I had different hair, different scent, different clothes

Different cars, different homes, different drive, different life, different rights, different rows

I see them pull up in a Rolls, in a Benz, it depends on the day I suppose

Me, I used to spend the saving money on a sausage roll, pray my mom would never know

Used the change for a sweet, then roll down the street procrastinating with the bros

Another charity case, only really there for the stats to be safe

Couldn't even have my hair platted in braids

Austentatious with the capital A

But it's capital O, and a grammatical O

Put them in their place, they was all baffled and froze

I said don't chat shit when you don't actually know

I always felt like I had sutting to prove

So I kinda went on, like I had nothing to lose

Thiefing off niggas who were nothing to move

I was risking my life, as a youngun for food

I went through a phase when I was 16, it was weird

I used to wanna murder people's voices in my head

I never really spoke about the voices, but instead

I locked myself away and studied lyrics in a shed

At least it felt like that I had a flat, but just a room

Kitchen next to the toilet, bed against the wall

I folded to the wall to make a bit of extra room

Bro, have you ever tried to make a table with a stool

Back then I was 18, I was really with the shits

If you disrespect, I stab a nigga in the neck

I kicked him in the stomach there was blood all in his sick

It left a man depressed and struggling to hit a lick

I started havin' dreams of getting dipped up in a flat

So I was moving Pow, couldn't kick it in the track

And then I met my ex, she said nigga stick to rap

And I was really in my feelings so I listened to her chat

I had to cut off everybody including my dad

To focus on my craft to make a living from a pad

I had to drop the missus, she was tripping, I was sad

Dwelled on it for years, I couldn't move when it was mad

But I took a lesson from the madness that she brang

It's fleeting if you say it, but immortal if it's sang

I really got to grindin' everyday I made a jam

I built a lyric library as a critic and a fan

I'd analyze my lyrics and compare them to a mans

I know his flow was something really hard to understand

Everybody offbeat with their punches, when they land

That's why I'm still on my feet throwing bombs under the round

I seen a couple niggas killed, right before my eyes

Seen 'em really crying as they look into the sky

I saw a lot of fear, I saw regret, I saw pride

He didn't wanna die, grabbed his girl, he said goodbye

The ambulance is coming, it's too late to heal the wounds

The pool of blood is growing, see it stopping and resume

The ledges of the pavement made the spreading of his stool

Till it flowed over the top like an infinity pool

These the kinda random things your mind clocks in the mist

Of seeing something devilish, the devils hit the delish

The angels they disgustingly digested what you must've,

But you can't see their reaction, ca' you caught up in the shit

The devil on my shoulder was an elder, I would shot for

I'd shot a little Z and he would pressure me to shot more

I never had no money for no Gucci or no Tom Ford

I would get my rep from robbing, hit the road then I would shot more

My name is my name, as the wolfgang says

So I add a bait face, niggas looking for my place

Same time I had a stepdad tryna instigate

Real beef with the son of the woman that he date

Remember when he told me he would kill me and my mum

I looked her in the eyes and said is this what it's become

My niggas they'll ride, so if you're still troubling mum

By the time that we arrive I'll push something in your lung

And that was the last thing I saw of him or her

Until a year later when he pushed her down the stairs

I didn't really try and talk about it with my peers

I was just looking for the nigga, wow, he really disappeared

Feds even pulled a nigga asking for a statement

Said I deal with it myself, ca' I ain't talking to you wastemen

I got murder on my mind, so we can't have no conversation

I got murder on my mind, it won't be mellow when I face him, huh

So face facts

Is only 1 life, right on the train tracks

They was 18 in a polo with the strap

And I was only fifteen when they pull that to my gaf

I used to be a positive and optimistic yute

But trials and tribulations got me negative and rude

I used to have respect now I'm a disrespectful yute

I used to love my fellow human, now that's "move I'm comin through"

My mommy couldn't walk and for that, I'mma kill them

In 99 I was in a warehouse in Kilburn

My dad worked there, grinding, building

I know he wants more for his three likkle children

The good don't come to anybody that waits

The good only come if you get up and chase

I chased man down with a blade for a grade

Till they stabbed me in the face, and left a stain on my brain

And I thought to myself, to remain here the same

Only ends one way, you shouldn't play with the pain

It's amazing how the mind turns pain into depression

It's amazing, how a knife don't care 'bout fame

I went through a phase when I was 16, it was weird

I used to wanna win so much the voices in my head

Telling me to kill them niggas, so I went and killed them niggas

Didn't kill em dead, I killed the music thing instead

Done