i still remember it all

In 2017 I got addicted to painkillers

In the six weeks before we met

And after that I took them only when I needed

Like the night you called me back

And in the mornings we would walk to class and smoke cheap cigarettes

Because menthols taste healthier, right?

Back then I didn't sleep and I wrote shitty poetry

About Newark when my grandma died

And i hope you don't remember at all

You just grab the money and i'll take the fall

I never moved to New York, but I went there on tour

I've got your notes in my drawer

I still remember it all

In 2021 I mixed klonopin and whiskey

In the city where angels go to die

And I made a man a flower crown

Then passed out on his living room floor

And said "don't touch me, I'm fine"

See, my ambition was a prison, wanted to carve my name into

The bones of everybody I met

Back then I didn't see beauty in just about anything

So I guess it turned out just how you said

It would

But I hope you don't remember at all

Been running away, it's getting harder to walk

I don't know what it was for, getting ruined for sport

Goddamn victorian whore

I still remember it all

Reading my old journals, double-checking it got better

And my hands still turn purple when it's cold

So I'll wait seven years

'Til there's nothing left of who i was but melody and fever

I hope next time, when she says she's too high you'll stop

And you'll believe her

One day I won't remember at all

The pictures all faded, now we're outlines in chalk

I never moved to New York, but I'll go there on tour

I guess that settles the score

I still remember it all