Catholic Priests and Homeland Security

I see

So you've had a problem too, I guess

Father Pat's little private patent chat's like

Good game, boy, good game, good game

Wash up to me, really wash up

It's amazing that you would catch them

And it wasn't just enough to catch them

But they had the Divine Witness Protection Program

You know, find the priest, here's the pedophile

Here's the priest, find the pedophile

Find the priest, find the pedophile

There, move them around

Here we go, we're gonna say them again

Here we go

Don't you ask, don't you tell

You might end up right in hell

Here we go, here we go

Here's your check, direct from Rome

Buy yourself a brand-new home

Moving around, moving around

Isn't that amazing? The Pope

One minute

A pause break number two

It was amazing when the Pope gathered all the cardinals in Rome and went

The only problem is he's dressed like Liberace's stunt double

I have a solution, though

For problem priests, a little thing of shop color

If they go near a kid, it's like "You know, Timmy?"

Oh!

"Tommy, I think, no, it hurt me!"

Or the automated confessional, could be fun

"If this is a venal sin, press one

If this is a carnal sin, press two

If this is cardinal law, please stay on the line

'Cause you have to remember it's not just a sin, it's a felony

So we have to keep track

Now, do you have one other thing?

We are now under the offices of Homeland Security

Tom Ridge will come out every so often and go, "Today's a blue day

No, orange, red"

And they had to be very careful picking that name

Homeland Security

You couldn't say fatherland, because a lot of old Germans are going

"That's a good one"

But Homeland Security, it sounds like Homefront Security

Which was England during World War II

Old men with pitchforks and colostomy bags, defending England

There they were, I captured Rudolph Hess personally

I threw my colostomy bag, covered him in shite

And said, "Get out of that fucker, you fucker

Get out," there I did

And I also find out now that Winston Churchill

One of the greatest orators of all time

May have been so fucked up on cognac and champagne

That he didn't do some of his great speeches

They were done by a man from the BBC who also did Winnie-the-Pooh

We will fight them on the beaches

In the air, on the land

Eeyore and Tigger

And he was fighting against Hitler

A man who recently a book declared was a homosexual

And I always thought this was a clue

That, and the leather, and the dancing

But