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Every year the wife and I lay out the welcome mat
For all the in-laws far and wide and our third cousin Jack
We trim the tree and hang the wreath and every time forget
That what comes through our door each
Year is the strangest Christmas yet
Two full days before Christmas Eve, grandma comes by car
With a pumpkin pie that she had baked that tastes like her cigar
She pulls up in a pickup truck with crazy Uncle Don
He parks it where he does each year, right on our front lawn
It's the strangest Christmas yet (so strange)
Strangest Christmas yet (whoo!)
It'll take some time to forget
The strangest Christmas yet
Oh, looky here, the children dear have built a roaring fire
Too bad it's in our driveway and with a stolen tire
Then came time for photographs, the camera set to strobe
And I said to Uncle Bob, "You wanna close your robe?"
Cousin Billy likes his guns, so naturally he came armed
He's on the lookout for invaders from the planet Zarn
Uncle Teddy put on weight, he'd gotten rather large
We couldn't take him through the door, he stayed in the garage
It's the strangest Christmas yet (how strange)
Strangest Christmas yet (really strange)
It'll take a while to forget
The strangest Christmas yet
We bless the food in different faiths that seem to number seven
And say a prayer that, with some help, just might get to Heaven
Then from the garage we hear a sound that makes us ache
Uncle Teddy with a voice so pure that your heart would break
(Joy to the world) he knows no other line
(Joy to the world) he sings it one more time
(Joy to the world) we hear it once again
We all take cans and quiet down and let it all sink in
I take him out a plate of food and thank him for the song
He says, "So sorry that I might have got the words a little wrong"
We tip our glasses, give a hug, and toast to Christmas cheer
And count the months until we get to see them all next year
It's the strangest Christmas yet (we love it!)