Talked Too Much, Stayed Too Long

Don't wanna be in your club if you take me as a member

I'm not even slightly interested in whether I remembered

I say ashes to ashes, dust to dust

Get me a tombstone if you feel you must

Saying, "Here lies the clown who wrote some songs

He talked too much and stayed too long"

Back home in Perth I played piano down in Cafe Piazza

Swallowing second and smoking singing standards by the masters

Learned that every lyric's sacred

That love's everything

And that three drinks makes you straighten up

And four gets you swingin'

'Til my crowds scared the suits away and I play my own songs

And then we talk too much and stay too long

(Talk too much and stay too long)

Moved to Melbourne with my missus after locking her down

Felt like a very little fishy in a very big town

Barely scraping by on corporate gigs and quaint cabaret

Playing keyboards in a cover band until three in the a.m.

I was never really suited to them top 40 songs

'Cause I talk too much and play too long

Don't wanna be in your club if you take me as a member

I'm not even slightly interested in whether I remembered

I say ashes to ashes, dust to dust

Get me a tombstone if you feel you must

Saying, "Here lies the clown who wrote some songs

He talked too much and stayed too long"

Took my Alana to Edinburgh in 2005

Played to 45 paying punters on the opening night

But to my surprise I was in rising demand

For a lovechild of Liberace and Edward Scissorhands

Dude from the papers said that digging me was wrong

He said I talked too much and stayed too long

I've played to Albert Hall and Wembley, I've played basements and bars

I've been to Hollywood and Broadway, met those A-lister stars

I've shared cigarettes with knights and shot tequila with dames

Found I'm more interested in laughter than with hardness and fame

So long as you've got irony honey we'll get along

We can talk too much and stay way, way too long

Don't wanna be in your club if you take me as a member