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Welcome to your platform
Please enjoy responsibly
We are the democratization of media
We are eager to get to know you
You are only human and we are here to help
You will finally be not only seen, but witnessed
You are broken and we will heal you
We will save everything
We work in our own proprietary mysterious ways
We have a plan for everyone, free of charge
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How does the f-f-f-following feel in your hand?
Three warning signs that you might be right about
Everything your worst instincts tell you
Ten red flags that a neurotypical narcissist
Is trauma-dump gaslighting you into
Sex-negative, self-abuse, emotional labor
And internalized reverse-racism
Against postmodern flat-earthers with facts and logic
(Number seven) number seven will destroy your family (destroy your family)
Breaking news: the news is broken
Sign this petition to remove content warnings
From Civil War statues
Click here for more buzzwords and p-pieces of think
You liked this
Streamline your intimacy and interpersonal productivity
Your friends are all here in easily digestible parts
Funny how you all have so much in common
You even both like Subway: Eat Fresh!
Your enemies have been ra- (radicalized)
By an (unknown force)
But you have stayed rational by educating yourself here
You and 280 others liked this
You may also like #WillWoodIsOverParty
Hashtag free speech, hashtag
And these Judy Garland deepfakes
Brought to you by your friends at the
For-God's-sake-make-it-stop corporation
The age of Aquarius has arrived, the end is nigh
The reveloution begins here, with our free service
A voice to the previously unheard masses
The silent majority and the people, we promise
We have no power over, we promise
The democratization of media
Your growth is organic and natural