recoil.heart

I log emotion like fatal errors, not feelings —

Every smile, a false flag; every hug, brief screenings

She reached once — i rerouted, clean detour

Left her warmth archived, buried in a neural floor

You say "you closed up" — nah, i just reformat fast

No backups of trust. no version of the past

When i breathe, it's for balance, not need

My lungs serve structure — not grief, not plead

I've seen connection crash mid-frame, no save file

So now i ghost first, shut down with a blank dial

I built affection into safe-mode blocks

And when love boots up, i overwrite the clocks

You think i'm cruel? i think you're exposed

This pain's too heavy for the soft you chose

I don't do warmth — i simulate its shape

It's not that i'm gone. it's just how i escape

I feel you flinch when love gets near

You mask the shake, delete the fear

Your pulse is locked in armored walls

You fold your care in silent calls

You ghost the ones that want to stay

Then curse yourself for pushing away

You say it's logic, say it's steel

But silence screams in what you feel

I've watched grief turn men into echoes with names

So i file mine in silence — no witness, no claims

You cry for closure, i diagram the threat

My healing's a ledger — pain turns to debt

I reply with posture, never with speech

You touch the wound, i rework the breach

Don't tell me "open up" — it's a faulty request

Every bond i allow is a failing test

My past is encrypted — good luck with the key

I don't revisit, i just redesign "me."

You gave me trust — i archived it as risk

A gift i ignored, like a timed-out disk

Empathy's noise — i filter it clean

Your comfort's a glare on a dead touchscreen

I trace my path like a scar in code

Never linear, never owed

I feel you flinch when love gets near

You mask the shake, delete the fear

Your pulse is locked in armored walls