Frank Sinatra vs. Freddie Mercury

Ho! What's wrong with your face? Baby, yikes!

With those teeth when you're through there'll be no dust left to bite!

Christ, newsflash, kid: this is show business!

Show some class when you dress, shave that bush off your lips!

Your band's named Queen, huh? Ain't that sweet!

You dance like you rode a bicycle race with no seat!

That's what's wrong with you people, you'll do anything to get famous!

You changed your name to Mercury,

you should've been Freddie Uranus!

You think I haven't heard those things before?

You're just a bully who's too scared to go to war!

You had a hit song called "My Way", but someone else wrote it

You're the least talented rat in your whole pack of rodents

You've got four notes in your whole range, you can't act, and you can't dance!

I'm more powerful than you when I'm wearing women's pants!

Why do you stand there in a suit? it's like you're trying to bore me

When I rock the UK, South America gets horny

Because my songs have balls! They're the anthems of victory!

Your music is like the sound track to a vasectomy

You're in the pocket of the mafia, and everybody knows

Guinea Dago, Guinea Dago? Guinea Dago, Figaro!

Easy, Jaws of Life, I can't stand a racist

I love the coloreds and the queers, just ask Sammy Davis

Look, we all want to swing, baby, but you took it too far

You played butthole roulette and you lost the draw!

I took one for both teams from a disease no one knew existed

I didn't leave a mark on history, I French kissed it!

I'm a champion of the world, extinguished in his prime!

So kiss my ass Frankie, but you'll have to wait in line!