I Wonder

Oh yeah, I've never been real good at lettin' go of the past

But I've always been good at fuckin' up when I'm mad

And even when they do me dirty, I still wanna go back

Because I let this life convince me that I'm nothin' but trash

I'm scared of change, even though I've always had to adapt

Not to be sad, but I bet I got my holes in my back

From people that say they love me, then they leavin' me stabbed

And then they wanna look confused when I act how they act

I wonder where I'll be when I'm forty

Will I have a bunch of people to adore me

Will I still be exploring, looking for people for me

Will I still be alone

Will I still be chasing dreams while I'm running from home

Oh, will this dream take me somewhere I live on the road

And now I live to please people that won't leave me alone

And if I ever live to see sixty

Wonder if I ever got to live my big dreams

Wonder if I still got friends with me

Wonder if my heart's still empty

Wonder if I fall in love and it don't leave me broken

And I got some satisfaction from the path that I've chosen

I wonder if I ever got to buy my momma that house

And I make sure that everyone that I love don't go without

Yeah, I wonder

Yeah, I wonder

Yeah, I wonder

Oh yeah, I wonder where I'll be when I'm forty

Will I have a bunch of people to adore me

Will I still be exploring, looking for people for me

And if I ever live to see sixty

Wonder if I ever got to live my big dreams

Wonder if I still got friends with me

Wonder if my heart's still empty

I'd be a liar if I said I knew the answer

Don't know the future and that's something I can't handle

It drives me nuts not to know the fucking outcome

Of this dream and that's something I can't outrun

Do I give up today? I don't think that would help

Counterproductive and destructive to myself

The only reason that I'm doing this music for mental health

And if I didn't, I don't think I'd survive this living hell