Pissed (With Pie)

I wanna be drunk when I wake up,

I wanna be drunk by 7 o'clock,

I wanna be smashed before the world wakes,

Pouring vodka not milk on my cornflakes,

No coffee cause I would not be drunk at all.

I wanna be drunk by this morning,

Cause a bit of booze makes it less boring,

Schoefield, windshield I'm not very sober,

I think I'll struggle to get through this song.

Cause I need some booze every once in a while,

Helps me get through Jeremy Kyle,

All dramas through lie detection, mum f#cked a member of One Direction,

Pass the larger lets stop the thinking and,

Carry on with a whole lot of drinking beer with pie, with pie.

Maybe I'll stop drinking now,

Stop my drinking now,

Stop my drinking now,

Or maybe just one more.

Walking into work, I am winning,

I wish this room would stop it's bloody spinning,

Another meeting, they're all repeating and my attention is now depleting,

I need to get to lunchtime so I can drink again.

And maybe other people like me,

You see the little stain below, it really is pee,

Pant's are damper, should be wearing pampers,

Cos' I just think I wet myself.

Cos' when it comes to the evening time,

I spill words when I'm downing the red wine,

I strike a cool pose, in Waitrose,

Chucked out by a guard with a large nose,

Try to hide it,

Try to fight it,

It's too late 'cause I think I shit myself, with pie, with pie.

Maybe I'll stop drinking now,

Stop my drinking now,

Stop my drinking now,

Or maybe just one more.

All by myself.

In a Mexican bar.

All by myself.

In casualty.

All by myself.

Outside of casualty.

All by myself.

Just drunk again,

Yes I'm drunk again,

Completely drunk again,

I think I need some sleep