When the Lights Go Out

Everyone says I've got that glow

That kind of light they wish they could hold

But they don't see the cracks beneath

The tired eyes that never sleep

I keep my voice soft, my words polite

I laugh on cue, I play it right

But when the lights go out, it's just me —

And the noise that doesn't let me breathe

I tell them I'm fine, it's easier that way

It hurts too much to make them stay

So I turn the pain into poetry

And hope the rhyme disguises me

When the lights go out, I fall apart

The smile fades, and so does my heart

I've built a mask no one can see through

Even I forget what's really true

I laugh too loud, I shine too bright

I hold it all in till I'm out of sight

And when the world can't hear the sound

That's when I break — when the lights go out

They always say my eyes are what they fall for

They talk about how deep they are, how warm

But it's not the eyes, it's what's trapped inside —

The pain I've learned to lock and hide

There's a whole storm behind that stare

A thousand screams I never share

They call it beauty, call it soul

But it's just the weight I can't let go

And if they ever looked too long

They'd see where all the light's gone wrong

So I turn my gaze, I fake the flame

And smile so they don't say my name

When the lights go out, I fall apart

The smile fades, and so does my heart

I've built a mask no one can see through

Even I forget what's really true

I laugh too loud, I shine too bright

I hold it all in till I'm out of sight

And when the world can't hear the sound

That's when I break — when the lights go out

Maybe someday I'll stop pretending

Stop patching wounds that keep on bending

They love my eyes but not the pain

They love the fire, not the rain

But maybe one day I'll let them see

The darkness still belongs to me