Part of the Plan

I've been on my knees again

Talking to the ceiling

Asking why every step forward

Feels like I'm still healing

I try to do the right thing

I try to understand

But every road I walk down

Feels like sinking sand

I say, how much more can I take

You say nothing

I wait

I said, God, when do I get to be happy

When does the weight finally lift off my chest

I've carried the pain

I've swallowed the damage

I've done my best

You said, trust me, child, I'm not done yet

This isn't the end of your pain

I asked you why

You said, it's all part of the plan

I see people smiling like it's easy

Like patience falls in their hands

While I'm learning how to survive

Instead of learning who I am

I keep wondering if I missed something

If I failed some unseen test

If happiness is a promise

Or just a pause between regrets

I say, did you forget my name

You say, I've been here the same

I said, God, when do I get to be happy

When does the weight finally lift off my chest

I've carried the pain

I've swallowed the damage

I've done my best

You said, trust me, child, I'm not done yet

This isn't the end of your pain

I asked you why

You said, it's all part of the plan

Yeah, what's why

I'm tired of being strong

I'm tired of holding faith

I'm tired of hearing soon

When I'm breaking every day

If this is making me who I am

Why does it feel like I'm losing myself

And you said

Every scar is teaching you how to stand

Every tear is shaping your hands

You don't see it now

But you will understand

I said, God, I just want to be happy

You said, peace doesn't come from escape