On The Open Road

Do ya need a break from modern livin'?

Do ya long to shed your weary load?

If your nerves are raw and your brain is fried

Just grab a friend and take a ride

Together upon the open road (come on, Maxie, ah-yuck)

All in all, I'd rather have detention

All in all, I'd rather eat a toad (yuck)

And the old man drives like such a klutz

That I'm about to hurl my guts

Directly upon the open road

There's nothin' can upset me

'Cause now we're on our way

Our trusty map will guide us straight and true

Roxanne, please don't forget me

I will return someday

Though I may be in traction when I do

Me and Max relaxin' like the old days (this is worse)

(Than dragon breath and acne) in a buddy-buddy

Kind of mode (I'm so mad)

(I think I may explode) when I see that highway, I could cry

Ya know, that's funny, so could I

Just bein' out on the open road

Howdy, boys, is this the way to Nashville?

Watch it, Mac, or you'll be gettin' towed!

I'm in no hurry to arrive

'Cause I'll be turnin' 65

The next time I seize the open road

Just a week of rest and relaxation (yeah)

And the odd romantic episode (very odd)

Ha ha, and it's Californ-I-A or bust

Look out, you dirtbags, eat my dust

From now on, I own the open road

It's me and little Maxie

My pipsqueak pioneer

They're partners forever westward ho, yee-haw

Could someone call a taxi

And get me outta here

To Beverly Hills 90210

Oh, every day, another new adventure

Every mile, another new zip code

And the cares we had are gone for good

And I'd go with them if I could

I've got no strings on me

I'm feelin' fancy-free

How wonderful to be

On the open road